11:48AM November 29 2011
Dear Volvo
Whatever this midlife crisis is, please get over it. I know you want to be cool. But sponsoring Twilight? Marketing your S60 as the ‘Naughty Volvo’? And now roping in JLS to drive your cars in their new video in the hope that they’ll leave some of their jls-ness on the seats and steering wheel?
It’s time to stop it. Stop it right now.
I’m 37, I have a little boy who has the energy sapping powers of a black hole, I’ve no idea what’s in the charts and I’m starting to groan a little when I stand up and sit down. And, I quite like your cars. They’re safe, comfy, nice to drive and look good.
When I took an S60 for a test drive over the weekend, it was brilliant. Thankfully it wasn’t naughty, it did exactly what it was told. The salesman was reassuringly mature and quietly confident. No flash, no pressure. Just let the car speak for itself. It’s exactly the approach I’d expect from a quality car maker.
But I’m starting to think that maybe I’m not good enough for you. Perhaps you’d like to go clubbing instead of staying at home with me, a chinese, a bottle and a movie.
Over the years, I’ve seen many brands do exactly what you’re doing. Trying to tap into that beautiful and seductive youth market. You just want the cool kids to like you, which if you’ve ever been to Secondary school, you know never, ever works. Trying to be something you’re not just because your marketing team would like you to be ‘Edgier’ often ends badly.
The people who make your cars know what you’re about and the people who sell your cars know what you’re about. So give yourselves a break. Celebrate Volvo, in all of your incredibly safe, reliable and comfy brilliance. You’ve a great product and a market that’s predisposed to buy, so don’t alienate us. Oh, and take off those skinny jeans, you look ridiculous.
